My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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