I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
