And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
