your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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