I hate all girls vehemently.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
