good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
