Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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