Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
