Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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