After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
