alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
