after a month anything with tits is on the radar
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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