should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
