Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
