My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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