Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
