I want to walk on stilts...naked
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
