STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
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