im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
