I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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