I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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