I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
