All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
