They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
