Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy. http://tfl.nu/1yd9
  Replies (19) Good night (3365) Bad night (706) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys. http://tfl.nu/wntn
  Replies (73) Good night (7385) Bad night (698) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'." http://tfl.nu/z1xk
  Replies (21) Good night (5998) Bad night (587)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome. http://tfl.nu/sdp2
  Replies (8) Good night (5146) Bad night (785) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Actions speak louder than pants.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): Actions speak louder than pants. http://tfl.nu/3ga3
  Replies (12) Good night (4928) Bad night (907) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (636): The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.' http://tfl.nu/hueh
  Replies (10) Good night (948) Bad night (4270)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength. http://tfl.nu/np75
  Replies (6) Good night (2551) Bad night (673) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going http://tfl.nu/hix8
  Replies (4) Good night (2748) Bad night (1046)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I think winning the long island race means you lose at life

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): I think winning the long island race means you lose at life http://tfl.nu/iy8p
  Replies (5) Good night (1048) Bad night (512) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me http://tfl.nu/8jt8
  Replies (7) Good night (1036) Bad night (389) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover. http://tfl.nu/myhj
  Replies (2) Good night (584) Bad night (427) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up http://tfl.nu/r47i
  Replies (3) Good night (577) Bad night (295) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago http://tfl.nu/q8gp
  Replies (4) Good night (290) Bad night (507)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today? http://tfl.nu/cfiq
  Replies (2) Good night (463) Bad night (446) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  I fill condoms, not promises.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): I fill condoms, not promises. http://tfl.nu/fzpc
  Replies (4) Good night (1201) Bad night (216) Order T-Shirt

Randomize