I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
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Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
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Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes