guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...