No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!