Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
