...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Your cock deserves a montage
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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