You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
