HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
