wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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