Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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