I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
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No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
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Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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