Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
