I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm šš»š
We are so blessed
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
The economy isnāt reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, thereās still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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