in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
