Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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