u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
whose ass print is on the piano?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
