The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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