what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
