Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
