i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize
