You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
