nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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