Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
The power of my boobs compel you
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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