why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
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I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
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Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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