when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
