their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
