your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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