This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
