The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
