I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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