we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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