Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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