who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
