worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
This toilet bowl is my home.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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