she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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